The most common thing women say after being diagnosed with HSDD is some version of: “I wish I’d known there was a name for this years ago.”
These stories exist to shorten that wait.
04 - In Their Words
Real stories from real women with HSDD.
Names and details have been changed where indicated. Clinician quotes are illustrative and reflect statements made in professional settings.
From Women
What HSDD sounds like, in their own words.
“I thought I was broken. Realizing there was a name — and a biological reason for what I’d been feeling was the first time in years I didn’t feel ashamed.”
SARAH, 58 - CHICAGO, IL
“For a long time I thought I just didn’t love him enough. The day a clinician told me that wasn’t what was happening, I cried in her office for half an hour.”
Maya, 64 - Brooklyn, NY
“I kept saying yes because I didn’t want to disappoint him. The hardest part was realizing I’d been quietly disappointing myself for years.”
JENNY, 51 - ATLANTA, GA
“I’d searched this online so many times in the middle of the night. Finding out it had clinical criteria — that this was a real category and not just my personality — changed everything.”
ASHLEY, 47 - DALLAS, TX
FROM CLINICIANS ADDRESSING HSDD
Why more providers are taking HSDD seriously.
“Most women who meet the criteria for HSDD have already mentioned it to a clinician at least once — and been told it’s normal, or stress, or to drink wine.
We can do better than that as a profession.”
DR. R. PATEL, MD
OB-GYN, SEXUAL MEDICINE FELLOWSHIP
“There is a version of this conversation where the woman leaves feeling validated and informed, and a version where she leaves feeling dismissed. The difference is almost entirely about whether the clinician knows the diagnostic criteria.”
DR. J. ALVAREZ, PHD
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, ISSWSH MEMBER
“I screen for HSDD the same way I screen for thyroid issues. It’s a high-prevalence, high-impact condition and there are real options. Treating it like a taboo doesn’t serve patients.”
DR. K. WHITAKER, MD
Internal Medicine